25 Things That Will Never Happen In Toronto

Nope. Sorry.

We write a lot about things to expect in Toronto here at Narcity. You may indulge in pointers on how to act accordingly on the TTC, or where to get the cheapest meal in your neighbourhood - which is awesome. But, what about the rest that goes unspoken...the stuff you want that no matter how hard you close your eyes and promise to be good, deliverance won't go your way.

In the spirit of the month of July's astrological anomaly, a 13th moon in a 12 month calendar, it's time to delve into all those subjects that we wish would happen, but most likely won't. 

Because, hey, it's once in a blue moon right?

1. The TTC goes a day without one single service alert

2. Nobody will yell at you at Yonge and Dundas

3. The Toronto Batman gets a cameo in Batman VS Superman

4. The Buffalo Bills are moved to Toronto

5. Kanye West performs...AGAIN

6. Lake Ontario is clean enough to swim in

7. An Uber driver gets a lift from a Taxi, and vice versa

8. The rest of Canada absolutely adores us

9. Cycling lanes will be added

10. The condo construction will just cease

11. No more cover charges at the club

12. Tim Hortons adopts a free coffee and doughnut for a smile policy

13. The streetcar finally arrives on time AND it's the new one

14. #DeadRaccoonTO comes back to life and with a vengeance

15. Meek Mills becomes more popular than Drake

16. The Toronto Maple Leafs bring the Stanley Cup home

17. Councillor Norm Kelly becomes mayor solely due to his Tweeting

18. There are no complaints about anything for ONE day in Toronto

19. Lebron James enjoys hosting Daylight at Cabana Pool Bar so much he'll sign with the Raptors

20. George Stroumboulopoulos comes back as VJ for Much Music

21. University tuition drops and you don't need to use OSAP

22. You actually have a great date with someone off Tinder

23. There won't be a person taking up 3 seats on the subway

24. The Go-Train platforms are magically immediately finished

25. Drake catches you whistling on your way to work and he offers you a contract bigger than Justin Bieber's