Ghosting: Why It Sucks And Why It Doesn't
You’ve met someone. Not just any someone; a cool, collected, cute-as-hell someone. Right off the bat you know that this could end up being something really special – maybe a friendship, maybe more.
There are just so many signs; from the way you both routinely take out the pickles from your cheeseburgers, to the way you both grab paper transfers on the TTC even though you know you don’t need them. One day you’re learning each other’s coffee order for the first time at Te Aro, and the next you’re playing house at the Queensway Ikea. You even start designating themes for each day of the week, like Tuesday, which becomes your obligatory “Take-Advantage-Of-Half-Off-Movies” Day.
In what seems like no time at all, you both reach a point where you’re seeing each other every single day and you just can't get enough of it.
One “good morning” text later and everything changes. Your special someone doesn’t reply back in the five seconds that he or she usually does. It’s okay, you tell yourself; maybe he’s still recovering from all the chaos at Muzik from the night before; or maybe she forgot to charge her phone overnight. But an hour goes by, then two, then five, and… Nothing.
So you swallow your pride and send that objectionable double text, even though you don’t want to seem too clingy. Still nothing. Hours turn into days and days turn into weeks, and now you’re seriously worried. You send messages on every form of communication – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, even email for God’s sake – but all you get is white noise. You’re almost convinced that your special someone is dead...
...No, your special someone isn’t dead; at least, not in the actual sense anyway. You’ve just been ghosted.
Ghosting – the slow fade; the social guillotine; the proverbial egg-on-the-face. It’s the pseudo-modern deed of ending a platonic or romantic relationship by removing oneself entirely from another person’s life without any explanation whatsoever.
There's a prevailing negative view of ghosting for reasons that are probably obvious. Even the 6ix God believes that "you have the right to leave someone; but at least tell them why 'cause what's even more painful than being abandoned is knowing you're not worth an explanation."
Perhaps with a little more open-mindedness, however, one would understand that "ghosters" cannot be conclusively typecast en masse as bad people. We're human, and sometimes we get ourselves involved with complicated people. For many people, ghosting is the quick and seemingly easier solution for getting out of an annoying or problematic relationship. Some even believe that ghosting is just as much of a social strategy as flirting.I say, let those who have never ghosted someone, consciously or subconsciously, cast the first stone.
Nevertheless, being ghosted sucks, period. But there's still a silver lining to it - at least you'd know for sure that the person who ghosted you is not someone worth associating with.
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