8 People You Are Guaranteed to See At Boots and Hearts This Year
With the approach of another summer weekend, comes yet another festival. For anyone prepping their bags, boots and livers for Boots and Hearts this weekend, or for those of you mentally preparing yourselves for the "FOMO" you will likely feel once the country-themed pics hit Insta, here are 8 people ya'll are guaranteed to meet at Boots and Hearts this year, or any year for that matter.
The Go-Pro Guy
Every festival has one… or many. This dude is serious about documenting his experiences, hence the Go-Pro strapped to his forehead. Honestly, I don’t know if this is a good idea or a disastrous one, given that most of us might want to opt out of the project-x themed replay of our most drunken behaviour, but for those of you willing to risk the public exposure of poor decisions, extreme indecency and impending regret, hang out with this guy. No make-out, wipe-out or drunken slur will be left forgotten or undocumented.
Gif via Giphy
The Glorified Redneck
I’m actually from Texas, so when it comes to Redneck stereotypes I like to think I know my stuff. But Boots and Hearts is literally the yearly stomping ground for the most dedicated and proud of self-proclaimed rednecks. With their lips packed full of chew, their Outdoor world-sponsored hunting outfits and over-sized trucks, these are the Hipsters of the country world and as always they will be taking Boots and Hearts by storm, "eh BAUD!?"
Gif via Giphy
The Girl Who Doesn’t Actually Listen to Country
She will probably be decked out in a cowgirl hat, boots and plaid shirt tied in a knot at her waist to prove just how “country” she is, but if you ask her who her favourite country singer is she will probably scream “OMG Luke BRYAN” and drunkenly mumble all the wrong words to every song that is played throughout the weekend, while she adds #country #bootsandhearts #countrygirlshakeitforme to all her Instagram posts.
Gif via Giphy
The Person So Drunk They Can No Longer Speak
This is the person who will answer a slurred “Yess” paired with a weird, lopsided smirk and vacant eyes when you ask them “How drunk are you dude?” Luckily, they still have some motor skills left intact and you’ll most likely find them walking (just kidding, stumbling) around clad in their plaid and cowboy boots throughout the night but if you are looking to share a deep conversation while Braid Paisley serenades the crowd, look elsewhere, because this person has mentally and verbally checked out of the party.
Gif via Giphy
The Neighbour Who Cooks You Food
Don't be surprised if your drunken behaviour on the first day results in the blatant sacrifice of the majority of your frozen food in favor of cramming as much beer into your cooler as you simultaneously try to cram into your stomachs. Luckily, you will probably have neighbors who will graciously offer up various forms of cooked meat whenever they spot you stumbling around your campsite on the vicious hunt for a bag of chips. Granted, they are probably more concerned about the impending damage your hungry, drunken bodies could cause without the provision of actual food, but these neighbours are always a life-saver regardless.
Gif via Tumblr
The Guy Who Came to Wheel in His Tent
Not going to lie, having drunken, sloppy sex in a tent or more accurately called, a sauna-like coffin of hardly breathable space, while wrestling around with sleeping bags admist games of flip cup, country music and mid-day hangovers, is not on the top of my usual to-do list. But, without a doubt, you will meet someone whose drunken hormones will take over and have them ambitiously diving into their flimsy tent to attempt the impossible: hot, sweaty, tent-enclosed sex that is mildly enjoyable for both parties. The odds are stacked against them, but I wish them luck.
Gif via Giphy
The Person Passed Out in the Middle of the Field
There will always be at least one person star-fished unapologetically in the field most of the weekend following a few too many rounds of Louisville-chugger. Sometimes it’s hard to tell whether or not they are catching a mid-day nap or have slipped into a temporary coma, but they will be there, blissfully and drunkenly oblivious to the boots stomping around their peaceful, dead-weight and likely drooling body while they catch some booze-induced Z’s.
Gif via Giphy
Guys in Short Shorts
Who says daisy dukes and cowboy boots are just for chicks? Guys, by the masses, will cut their old jeans with no regard for modesty to expose their white thighs in all their usually unseen glory. I’m talking blinding white, never-before-touched-by-the-sun thighs staring you in the face until the excess sunshine and beer eventually results in an angry full-body sunburn that will only add to the stark reality of their week-long hangover come the end of the festival.
Gif via Giphy