For anyone out there who's ever given online dating apps a whirl, you probably already know that it can be a lot of fun but also a little traumatic.
When COVID-19 hit in March of 2020, it felt like dating could come to an end entirely. But, the human need for connection still persisted and we collectively found a way to somehow make it work.
That said, I can say from experience that pandemic dating is a whole different beast. Zoom dates, navigating how to safely meet IRL ... little things that don't seem like they'd be that big of a deal suddenly became so much more important.
Here are some things I learned while trying to find love online during the pandemic and how I eventually found myself in a wonderful relationship.
Online dating can be so weird
To be fair, online dating could be pretty weird pre-pandemic, but things got a whole new level of strange when the world started to shut down.
I found that people were increasingly more rude while trying to chit chat, almost as if they felt it didn't matter what they said to others. Perhaps people felt like there was no point trying any more, so they felt they could just say what they wanted?
I received way more unsolicited nudes at the beginning of the pandemic than I ever did before COVID-19. Please don't send pictures of your junk to someone without asking them first if they want to see it!
Virtual dating is awkward
Do you remember when we all collectively transitioned to having online meetings and that initial absolute awkwardness of trying to navigate people on mute, wi-fi glitching, and more? Well, it was way worse for virtual dating.
If you already have a rapport with someone in person it isn't as awful to transition to video get togethers — but without that knowledge of how someone communicates, it can just be a total disaster of awkward pauses and interrupting each other.
I do have some advice on the whole situation, though.
If you're about to go on a virtual date, have one drink beforehand and then pour yourself one drink for the actual date. While you're chatting with the person, make sure you have something to play with in your hands so you're not constantly reaching for your drink out of desperation to ease the weirdness.
I would usually pass a crystal back and forth between my hands, but one of my friends told me she unravelled a mitten from Dollarama. Whatever works!
Hookups before health
I have absolutely no problem with people who are straight forward about what they're looking for on the apps, but I swear, the horniness at a time where we weren't even supposed to be seeing our close family was wild.
The amount of offers I received to hookup was unprecedented. All I could think was, "Sir? In a pandemic?!"
I get that loneliness was at an all-time high due to isolation, but that doesn't really give you an excuse to smash mouths with a stranger you met on the internet at a time where we stopped even doing handshakes.
Meeting up takes navigating
So, when you do finally get to a point where you feel comfortable getting to know someone a bit more, what do you do?
I met a few nice guys while virtual dating, but most of them fizzled out due to just how awful it is to try and keep up the video calls without being able to figure out if you have that spark with someone that happens in person.
At one of the times when Ontario wasn't in lockdown, I decided to have a dinner date with someone on an outdoor patio. It was a little overwhelming to be near someone not in my bubble for the first time in ages, but I eventually relaxed.
Unfortunately, I relaxed so much that I ended up splitting dessert with him and later had a minor freak out that we both used our forks on the same crème brulée and neither of us were vaccinated at the time
The next meet-up I had was at a park where we sat on opposite ends of a bench. It was hilarious, awkward, adorable, and ended up being the start of a wonderful relationship that I'm currently ridiculously happy in.
Uncomfortable conversations need to happen
One of the weird things to navigate was trying to subtly figure out how stringent people were being with their social distancing.
My parents and grandmother were included in my bubble during the lockdown pre-vaccination and I knew I'd be wrecked if I passed something on to them, so I tried to be as diligent as I could about public safety measures.
Not everyone feels that way, which is their prerogative, but trying to have a conversation about people's stance on things was always a little tricky.
Patience pays off
After years on the apps and navigating dating during an actual pandemic, I found my guy.
We went through it all — weird virtual dates where the video would glitch, awkward convos about vaccinations, surviving socially distanced hangouts and eventually making it official. Now, I couldn't be happier.
Pandemic dating sucks, but it also sort of forces you to cut out some of the bullshit and start to get to really know someone right away.
I know it's hard, but if you're out there and looking for love, I believe in you!