The Top 10 Dumbest Reasons For Living In Each Canadian Province

The Top 10 Reasons To Live In British Columbia

1. Weed

The province's pot industry is worth a smoking $7.5 billion. Right on, dude!

2. Limitless supply of rainwater

No no, this is a good thing! You'll look so cute with your umbrella!

3. Countless sugar daddy prospects

Get your money, girl!

4. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks locations

Unleash your inner basic bitch!

5. Lots of elderly people

So you can show off your youthful beauty!

6. Countless landscapes to Instagram

But not to admire in real life, obviously!

7. Eternal bragging rights

Once you live in BC, you're entitled to brag that you're from BC!

8. Tons of vegans

More steak and gluten for you!

9. People will think you're rich

You could be homeless and people will think you're a just a fashionable hipster!

10. Cannabis

It's just like weed, but it is!

The Top 10 Reasons To Live In Alberta

1. It's just like Texas

But more frozen!

2. Political flexibility

You can be as Conservative as you want until it's inconvenient for you!

3. Oil and gas will make you rich

Don't worry, exploitation of natural resources is the norm here!

4. The Calgary Stampede

Who wouldn't want to see burly men in cowboy hats straddle a bunch of bulls?!

5. Strong hockey culture

You'll have so much fun being a part of the Flames/Oilers civil war!

6. Lots of air pollution

Save money on cigarettes!

7. Big ass trucks

You won't be able to see the road, but aren't they so cool?!

8. Dinosaurs

Both dead and living!

9. Heaps and heaps of snow

You'll get so muscular doing all that shoveling!

10. Nickelback

Enough said!

The Top 10 Reasons To Live In Saskatchewan

1. "Regina" is always a sure hit in conversations.

You'll definitely bring the laughs!

2. It's really easy to draw on a map

It's basically a rectangle and there aren't any lakes to colour in!

3. There's lots of space

You can drive the entire province on cruise control!

4. The Roughriders

They'll always give you a reason to get drunk and wear watermelon helmets!

5. You'll never lose your dog

If it runs away on Monday you'll still see it running on Wednesday!

6. Unlimited access to wheat

Everybody loves wheat!

7. It's super quiet

You can even hear the tumbleweeds rolling!

8. You can finally buy that John Deere mower

And your wife can't complain!

9. You'll make lots of new friends

Mostly with the gophers in the fields!

10. You can show off your spelling skills

Spelling "Saskatchewan" for people will be your claim to fame.

The Top 10 Reasons To Live In Manitoba

1. Alternate modes of transportation

You can canoe, snowshoe, or even ride a polar bear to work!

2. You'll save on electricity

All those power outages will come in handy!

3. Winters are awesome

Because you'll always have a reason to be late to work!

4. You can identify as an East Canadian or West Canadian

It's all up to you to decide!

5. Fashion is not seasonal

In time, you'll be able to wear shorts in -20 degrees, just like everyone else!

6. Winnipeg is just like Detroit

Only 200x colder!

7. You won't have to deal with annoying tourists

Because no one wants to visit anyway!

8. You don't have to dress up too much

Because there's not a lot of people available to impress!

9. It's close to Ontario

So you can get out of it whenever you want!

10. It's not Saskatchewan

Clearly an advantage!

The Top 10 Reasons To Live In Ontario

1. It's the centre of the universe

It's literally the only place in Canada people care about!

2. You'll look responsible with money

Because Kathleen Wynne isn't!

3. Trudeau is within stalking distance

You can finally retire that photo of him you keep in your wallet!

4. It has a Cheesecake Factory

Need I say more?!

5. Expensive ass houses

You won't be able to afford them, but aren't they pretty to look at?!

6. The weather isn't that bad 

But you can still complain about it as much as you want!

7. Toronto will make you feel like you're in NYC

With its endless construction, garbage-filled roads and obnoxious passerbys.

8. You decide the fate of the country.

Because in reality, only Ontario votes matter!

9. An endless supply of selfie sticks

Thanks to the tourists, they'll never run out!

10. Everybody will want to be you

Because being an Ontarian is everyone's dream, duh!

The Top 10 Reasons To Live In Quebec

1. People will think you're bilingual even if you're not

You could live a double life!

2. You're entitled to an unlimited-use Anglophone card 

You can blame all of your problems on those "Anglo bastards"!

3. The culture is superb

It makes up for the province's lack of economy!

4. You can be as rude as you want 

Because no one will understand you!

5. No one will judge you for smoking

Smokers lungs are fashionable here!

6. It has the second best poutine in the country

You know what they say, second is the best!

7. Store names are changing to French

Want to go to Taco Bell? I mean, Tâco Cloche?!

8. You'll stand out

Just like how Quebec is an outsider to the rest of Canada!

9. You'll adopt 2 more last names

And your kids will get 4!

10. Celine Dion

Everybody loves Celine Dion!

The Top 10 Reasons To Live In New Brunswick

1. You won't be blamed for anything

New Brunswick people are harmless in the eyes of Canada!

2. Like Saskatchewan, it's also easy to draw 

And colour, too!

3. You won't have to deal with tourists

They all drive past you to get to Nova Scotia!

4. It will allow you to keep a low profile

Because no one ever pays any attention to New Brunswick!

5. It's home to the biggest tides

To keep the Quebeckers out!

6. You're poor, but not as much as the Newfies

That's the most important thing!

7. You'll live the simple life

In a seaside cottage with no cable!

8. Lots of cows and fish

And kayakers getting eaten by whales!

9. You'll learn to speak French

Whoops, I meant you'll be forced to learn to speak French!

10. It's just like Maine

But with more unemployed fishermen!

The Top Ten Reasons To Live In Nova Scotia

1. A lifetime supply of Alexander Keith's

Say no more!

2. You'll learn how to play the fiddle

You'll be a hit at folk parties!

3. You can wear a kilt and not be ashamed

Just tell everyone you have a Scottish background!

4. Lots of lobsters

It smells like dead sea animals all the time, but it's worth it!

5. It's home to a smiling tugboat

That's not creepy at all!

6. You're allowed to kick a Newfie's ass

Just part of your rights as a Nova Scotian!

7. You can be unapologetically hipster

It's the way of life in Nova Scotia!

8. It has the Cabot Trail

So people can't tell you Nova Scotia is boring!

9. You can basically pass off as part Scottish

No one will ever find out!

10. Trailer Park Boys

The epitome of Canadian class!

The Top 10 Reasons To Live In Prince Edward Island

1. You have a bigger bridge than the ones in Vancouver 

Take that, BC!

2. You can walk across the entire province in 30 minutes

What a great exercise!

3. You can drive across the province in 2 minutes

One tank of gas will last you months!

4. It has the Anne of Green Gables house.

Useless, but pretty!

5. So. Many. Potatoes.

No need to worry about not getting enough fibre!

6. There are no street lights but there are lighthouses

They're super practical and super functional!

7. It's an island

The other provinces can't bother you!

8. You'll have lots of peace and quiet

Because rarely anyone lives there and no one will want to visit!

9. The farmers from the Cavendish Potatoes commercial live there

The most influential Canadians of the past decade, hands down!

10. It was the founding place of Canada

And ... Yup, that's about it!

The Top 10 Reasons To Live In Newfoundland

1. You can gossip in a secret language

Because no one in Canada can understand Newfie talk!

2. You don't have to be ashamed of being an alcoholic

The province is full of them!

3. Work days are about 2 hours long

But seriously.

4. There are more humpback whales than humans

They're a lot friendlier anyway!

5. You can be in two places at once

Because Newfoundland couldn't decide on a time zone!

6. Really tall, sharp rocks

To keep out the Nova Scotians!

7. Surplus of ice

Thanks to those giant ass icebergs!

8. It has an island inhabited by just dogs

You can save on your antidepressant prescriptions!

9. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse

"I'm from Newfoundland!"

10. Cod

If the world ends, you'll still have cod!